So, on being back. It mostly feels like this summer was a lifetime ago, or from another world. Being back in the College of Business life, hearing of my peers with their corporate internships and money-driven ambitions, was challenging at first (and still is sometimes), but I believe God has directed me to go the places I've been and that they are preparing me for His greater plan. Not everyone will understand my life, seeing only the small glimpse they do. I don't even understand it all, and I'm living it. But I need to accept where I am and have confidence that God will show me the steps as I need to take them.
On life, and fall, I just have an overwhelming feeling that the mundane is so beautiful. Reading my friends' blog posts of fall and talks of corn and home repairs and sweaters ... thank YOU, God, for making such a beautiful season and for giving us lives that can be so easy going and sorrow/ death/ disease/ hunger/ poverty/ tragedy free, for the most part. Mostly, our lives are pictures of happiness. Or they should be. I guess to everyone except the person living it, our lives look perfect.
These days there is a lot of planning and worry and stress about the future. I've been interviewing for work after I graduate, but am unsure on where God wants me. On the drive to Wednesday night church a month ago, the song in my CD player echoed my thoughts exactly: "When it comes time to make decisions, may He guard my heart and mind." And then last Sunday at hymn sing I flipped past Lead Kindly Light and read the verse: "I do not ask to see / the distant scene; / One step enough for me." That is a hard thing to follow, but I'm working on it.
So last weekend I had an eye exam at the mall, which I'll admit I was pretty excited about because I'm not sure I've been to the mall at all in 2014. But when I went browsing after my eye test, I couldn't stop thinking about the garment factory in Bangladesh and that the only reason we have these cheap clothes is because young twenty-year olds are working in hot, crowded factories for almost no money. I couldn't see myself buying anything -- I just didn't care about the clothes enough to spend money that way. So I went home. It kind of made me sad to see all the unthinking clothes buying going on around me. Clearly I'm not the person I used to be, and I won't adjust all the way back, probably ever. I have different eyes after being away.
But on a positive note, driving into mall parking lot, passing moms in suburbans under falling autumn leaves and clear skies, I had an overwhelming appreciation for the prosaic comfort we have here. In America. It is such a blessing to have our 'mundane' be like this.
Life has been crazy in the last month and a half and I haven't really gotten to catch my breath. But there have been a few God-given moments of sanity and fun and heart-to-heart talks in the midst of a whole lot of textbook reading, midterms, and group projects!
West Coast Invite came at a time when I really needed it -- school was crazy busy and going in to the weekend I felt like I didn't have time for it, but of course then it was full of the refocus, praising God, and wonderful talks that I needed. Some of us girls had a great conversation about how sometimes you don't feel like reading and praying, but it is important to make yourself do it. That's when you need it most.
West Coast Invite was also filled with gorgeous weather and some fun apple cider making and hay rides. I am so thankful for our Silverton SG and the beautiful place God made for us to live.
A few weeks ago I decided to get out of the apartment early and just take a long walk, something that I love doing but haven't so far this term. There is an awesome trail that goes out past the ag buildings on the campus to Bald Hill, a part of Corvallis that is wide open and rural and beautiful. It was a brisk evening but clear and so nice to just walk and appreciate life. On the way back I called Tiera and we had a good catch up talk. I missed having good quiet outdoor time and I so needed this.
We had a tree down in our neighborhood at home a week ago on a Saturday that was blustery and windy. SG plans were up in the air for a while but we decided not to cancel but to instead drive up to Portland to sing for an older sister in church and then go out for pizza. Such fun, as always -- our SG is amazing to be with.
I'm a twenty-something from the Pacific NW making home in new places as I follow where God leads.
My intent is to show Christ's love to the world and use business to solve some of the social problems we face: hunger, illiteracy, healthcare, economic hardship. For now, I'm in a stage of learning. A little adventuring, a few books, some good friends, and a whole lot of prayer and life runs on.